It has been weeks since I last drove my car which now sits in the garage gathering dust.
I miss driving. I miss the freedom running errands, grabbing sushi, or escaping to a spa for the weekend. Now I am dependent upon the kindness of my neighbors, strangers, and taxis to get me where I need to be.
When I started taking fentanyl last fall I was prescribed the generic product (this was per the formulary of the insurance company), and the side effects were similar to those I now experience with the morphine. I spent in excess of about $800 in cab fare going to/from work and running errands. I don’t have $800 in my budget for this luxury. (Once again, it was my emergency savings to the rescue!)
Years ago when I lived in NY and later SF I chose not to have a car. Mass transit was available at my doorstep and everything I needed or wanted was usually within walking distance – including the grocery store. Today, the closest grocery is over two miles away. I could walk, but between the dizziness, pain, and fatigue, it’s not easy. And, it is a bummer – because I’m supposed to be getting ready for a moonlight 6K fun run in Las Vegas in August.
There is one bright side – I haven’t been to a gas station for over ten weeks – so I haven't been seen the price of gas.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I H-E-A-R-T Blogger
Deciding to blog was not a spur of the moment thing. This is something I have considered for over six months.
My first concern, of course, “Would I have something to say that people would want to read?” Next, was the graphics – what would this look like? There are like a gazillion blogs, sometimes they all look the same. Then, of course, the web hosting and all the tech stuff that would be way over my head seemed just a bit too overwhelming.
My next concern, “What would I be getting myself into?” I’ve seen bloggers get the most hateful comments from complete strangers. I’ve seen other bloggers, plus those closest to them (family and friends), have their privacy compromised and all sorts of things, truth or lies, published or exposed on the internet.
Yet, 2008 has turned out to be such a bad year. Content jumps out at me everyday. Lemons are thrown left and right. So, I giving it a shot.
I corresponded with a couple of bloggers, finding out what was working for them – ideas, content, format, hosting, etc. After consideration, I started out at that other site. However, after a few days, I found I was really limited in my ability to manipulate the blog’s look and feel. Plus, where were those advertising opportunities everyone mentions?
So, I came over to Blogger and started to play around. It took a few hours. Like 12 hours maybe. Morphine makes me very slow. I think blogger will offer me and this blog more opportunities than I would have over at the other site. Only time will tell.
My first concern, of course, “Would I have something to say that people would want to read?” Next, was the graphics – what would this look like? There are like a gazillion blogs, sometimes they all look the same. Then, of course, the web hosting and all the tech stuff that would be way over my head seemed just a bit too overwhelming.
My next concern, “What would I be getting myself into?” I’ve seen bloggers get the most hateful comments from complete strangers. I’ve seen other bloggers, plus those closest to them (family and friends), have their privacy compromised and all sorts of things, truth or lies, published or exposed on the internet.
Yet, 2008 has turned out to be such a bad year. Content jumps out at me everyday. Lemons are thrown left and right. So, I giving it a shot.
I corresponded with a couple of bloggers, finding out what was working for them – ideas, content, format, hosting, etc. After consideration, I started out at that other site. However, after a few days, I found I was really limited in my ability to manipulate the blog’s look and feel. Plus, where were those advertising opportunities everyone mentions?
So, I came over to Blogger and started to play around. It took a few hours. Like 12 hours maybe. Morphine makes me very slow. I think blogger will offer me and this blog more opportunities than I would have over at the other site. Only time will tell.
Disability Insurance – Don’t Leave Work Without It
I love to work. It kills me not to work. And, the reality is, as a single female without a trust fund or wealthy husband (or ex-husband) to take care of my financial needs, I need to work so that I can eat, live and survive.
My creativity, business acumen, communication skills, and a variety of talents make me a valuable employee. While at work, my employer receives 100% from what I have to offer. I can analyze difficult business problems, come up with creative solutions, and identify a variety of options to explore when faced with difficult challenges. I can multitask on a variety on different projects, all in various phases and stages.
The problem is though I really want to work, I can’t. In my case, morphine and the office are not a good mix. Clients would not be receiving the value they’ve come to expect for their billable hour. An example - where in the past it might have taken me 30 to 45 minutes to write this post, it has taken over six hours.
So, obviously, not working means I have no income.
Fortunately, while I have six months of savings set aside for living expenses in case of emergencies just like this, my employer got us disability insurance about 18 months ago. We didn’t have it before, but a few people really lobbied for it.
There is much to be done to start a claim if it becomes necessary (I still haven’t made the final decision): however, when we got this policy for the office, my boss did a few great things:
First, each person paid for their own premium out of their paycheck with after tax dollars. What this means is that when you file a claim and get payments, the payments are not considered taxable income.
Second, when I got the paperwork I was pleased to find out that I can file my claim at 90 days. I thought it was 180 (6 months). This is great because the monthly benefit is approximately 60% of my gross pay. Before went on my leave, I was contributing to my 401(k) and HAS – between taxes and those contributions what I receive in benefits could be the same as what I was taking home previously from the office.
My hope is that I won’t have to completely deplete my emergency savings and am able to live with in budget allowed by the disability insurance.
My creativity, business acumen, communication skills, and a variety of talents make me a valuable employee. While at work, my employer receives 100% from what I have to offer. I can analyze difficult business problems, come up with creative solutions, and identify a variety of options to explore when faced with difficult challenges. I can multitask on a variety on different projects, all in various phases and stages.
The problem is though I really want to work, I can’t. In my case, morphine and the office are not a good mix. Clients would not be receiving the value they’ve come to expect for their billable hour. An example - where in the past it might have taken me 30 to 45 minutes to write this post, it has taken over six hours.
So, obviously, not working means I have no income.
Fortunately, while I have six months of savings set aside for living expenses in case of emergencies just like this, my employer got us disability insurance about 18 months ago. We didn’t have it before, but a few people really lobbied for it.
There is much to be done to start a claim if it becomes necessary (I still haven’t made the final decision): however, when we got this policy for the office, my boss did a few great things:
First, each person paid for their own premium out of their paycheck with after tax dollars. What this means is that when you file a claim and get payments, the payments are not considered taxable income.
Second, when I got the paperwork I was pleased to find out that I can file my claim at 90 days. I thought it was 180 (6 months). This is great because the monthly benefit is approximately 60% of my gross pay. Before went on my leave, I was contributing to my 401(k) and HAS – between taxes and those contributions what I receive in benefits could be the same as what I was taking home previously from the office.
My hope is that I won’t have to completely deplete my emergency savings and am able to live with in budget allowed by the disability insurance.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Emergency Funds Save The Day
Yesterday I explained it has been two months without a paycheck and this time off from work is an unpaid medical leave.
Expecting the unexpected can and will happen make it easier to plan for difficult times.
What this entails is smart budgeting, living frugally, and aggressively saving until you have a cushion you feel comfortable with. For me, the emergency savings includes three parts:
Income Protection – A saving account or fund (i.e., short-term CDs) that is equal to six months of take-home pay/salary.
Investment Protection – I have a rental unit – a 2bd/2bth condo in Vancouver (WA). I keep in a separate account my renters’ last month’s rent, security deposit and cleaning fee. I also keep in this account funds to cover two or three months of unit expenses (i.e., mortgage, HOA fee, utilities) should the unit be empty without a renter. I also deposit a small amount ($50) into this account every month to build a cushion for future maintenance, HOA assessments, etc.
General Emergency Fund – This is a fund for those small emergencies that come up – like when my cat died and I needed to pay the vet. Or, when my car (a 2003 Jetta) had a little mechanical problem that set me back $1,100. I try to keep this around $5,000.
Currently I have about $5k in my checking (though I just paid some bills, so week’s end, it will be down to about $2K) and I have liquidated my various savings and have $25,000 in my money market account for my living expenses. Then I have my rental investment account. These funds don’t make up my entire net worth, but they represent the cushion I need to see me through the next few months.
Anticipating the unexpected is essential – especially in today’s economy. My personal belief is that we all need to examine our needs versus our wants.
Over the past few years I wanted to drive a BMW… I would have loved (wanted) to live in a trendy loft and travel the world. The reality is, however, I know my body and its limitations. I need financial security and an emergency savings fund more so than fulfillment of momentary wants of immediate gratification.
Expecting the unexpected can and will happen make it easier to plan for difficult times.
What this entails is smart budgeting, living frugally, and aggressively saving until you have a cushion you feel comfortable with. For me, the emergency savings includes three parts:
Income Protection – A saving account or fund (i.e., short-term CDs) that is equal to six months of take-home pay/salary.
Investment Protection – I have a rental unit – a 2bd/2bth condo in Vancouver (WA). I keep in a separate account my renters’ last month’s rent, security deposit and cleaning fee. I also keep in this account funds to cover two or three months of unit expenses (i.e., mortgage, HOA fee, utilities) should the unit be empty without a renter. I also deposit a small amount ($50) into this account every month to build a cushion for future maintenance, HOA assessments, etc.
General Emergency Fund – This is a fund for those small emergencies that come up – like when my cat died and I needed to pay the vet. Or, when my car (a 2003 Jetta) had a little mechanical problem that set me back $1,100. I try to keep this around $5,000.
Currently I have about $5k in my checking (though I just paid some bills, so week’s end, it will be down to about $2K) and I have liquidated my various savings and have $25,000 in my money market account for my living expenses. Then I have my rental investment account. These funds don’t make up my entire net worth, but they represent the cushion I need to see me through the next few months.
Anticipating the unexpected is essential – especially in today’s economy. My personal belief is that we all need to examine our needs versus our wants.
Over the past few years I wanted to drive a BMW… I would have loved (wanted) to live in a trendy loft and travel the world. The reality is, however, I know my body and its limitations. I need financial security and an emergency savings fund more so than fulfillment of momentary wants of immediate gratification.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Planning for the Unexpected
One of my favorite personal finance blogs is Dual Income No Kids authored by Meil and James. (You can find them at www.dinksfinance.com)
They had a post yesterday regarding emergency funds – which is significant given my current medical situation. I’m on an unpaid medical leave from work. I haven’t had a paycheck in two months.
One of the reasons people declare bankruptcy and lose their homes is due to medical illness – their inability to pay medical bills and loss of income because they can’t work due to illness.
I’m lucky in that I’ve worked hard and built a savings for emergencies like this. This isn’t my first medical leave due to illness. And, I’m hoping to someday return to work. It is, however, the first time I’ve been on a medical leave without short-term disability insurance.
Over the years I’ve had eight surgeries; tons of biopsies; a few general hospitalizations (for pain); countless radiographic procedures (i.e., CAT scans, IVPs, ultrasounds, endoscopies) to identify the source of the pain; and, of course, many trips to the ER for medication and assistance to control the pain when it has become unbearable.
I’m not sharing this for pity or because I have a “poor me” syndrome. I just want visitors to have an understanding for the impact and magnitude of how illness and the management of pain have altered my life.
For every five productive days I’ve provided my employer, I’ve probably had one day missed work due to pain and the resulting fatigue. Now, due to the morphine, I am unable to drive – my balance is shot and if I were to take a field sobriety test, I would fail.
Just like many people suffer from “chemo brain” – the term used to describe the loss of cognitive function resulting from the use of chemotherapy – I’m certain there is a “morphine brain” syndrome too. I know I am experiencing cognitive losses – particularly around numbers. Things that used to be basic (addition, subtraction) are now difficult and complex. I am unable to remember numbers – simple repetitive numbers, like my ATM PIN and phone number. And don’t ask me to figure out how to pay a bill using cash – trying to split a lunch check and calculate the server’s tip left me in tears last week.
All of my previous employers had some form of disability insurance – both short- and long-term. The exception was in California. However, in California, the state has a program, so the three occasions I had surgery while a resident of California, my time off of work and loss of income was covered by the state disability program.
So here I am… two months without a paycheck on an unpaid medical leave of absence. How am I doing it?
Read tomorrow and I’ll explain.
They had a post yesterday regarding emergency funds – which is significant given my current medical situation. I’m on an unpaid medical leave from work. I haven’t had a paycheck in two months.
One of the reasons people declare bankruptcy and lose their homes is due to medical illness – their inability to pay medical bills and loss of income because they can’t work due to illness.
I’m lucky in that I’ve worked hard and built a savings for emergencies like this. This isn’t my first medical leave due to illness. And, I’m hoping to someday return to work. It is, however, the first time I’ve been on a medical leave without short-term disability insurance.
Over the years I’ve had eight surgeries; tons of biopsies; a few general hospitalizations (for pain); countless radiographic procedures (i.e., CAT scans, IVPs, ultrasounds, endoscopies) to identify the source of the pain; and, of course, many trips to the ER for medication and assistance to control the pain when it has become unbearable.
I’m not sharing this for pity or because I have a “poor me” syndrome. I just want visitors to have an understanding for the impact and magnitude of how illness and the management of pain have altered my life.
For every five productive days I’ve provided my employer, I’ve probably had one day missed work due to pain and the resulting fatigue. Now, due to the morphine, I am unable to drive – my balance is shot and if I were to take a field sobriety test, I would fail.
Just like many people suffer from “chemo brain” – the term used to describe the loss of cognitive function resulting from the use of chemotherapy – I’m certain there is a “morphine brain” syndrome too. I know I am experiencing cognitive losses – particularly around numbers. Things that used to be basic (addition, subtraction) are now difficult and complex. I am unable to remember numbers – simple repetitive numbers, like my ATM PIN and phone number. And don’t ask me to figure out how to pay a bill using cash – trying to split a lunch check and calculate the server’s tip left me in tears last week.
All of my previous employers had some form of disability insurance – both short- and long-term. The exception was in California. However, in California, the state has a program, so the three occasions I had surgery while a resident of California, my time off of work and loss of income was covered by the state disability program.
So here I am… two months without a paycheck on an unpaid medical leave of absence. How am I doing it?
Read tomorrow and I’ll explain.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Why Blog
I became fascinated with blogging a few years ago. At first I thought they were a new form of fiction – a type of cyber novel – then I found out more as I began reading and following a few. I became intrigued. With a few, I became hooked.
The first one I followed with some regularity had to do with a young man from Sacramento, California, named Casey. He was facing foreclosure on a number of houses he had purchased over a short period of time. Of course, he did this at the height of the market, right as it imploded. He owed over 2.2 million dollars. His blog became its own form of webtainment. It had its own cast of characters – from Casey himself, to his readers, including “Sputnik the Cat” and “The Trailer Park Boys” to what later became his Haterz. His blog created many more blogs and forums – mostly those dedicated to haterz.
Casey’s blogging experience was probably, as a social experiment, the best of and the worst of the internet. It brought out the kindness of many who offered assistance, who over time were thrown under the bus by Casey and his own selfish needs and desires. It also illustrated and gave readers a glimpse of the worst of the internet universe – the predators who wanted to ride on Casey’s growing media celebrity.
With Casey, they’d found the goose that laid the golden egg.
Since that time, the blogs I follow mostly surround the subjects of personal finance and money. Some of these blogs are very informative. Some of these blogs tell a great story. With some blogs, it’s obvious the author is using it as a money making venture. And, some of these blogs are just great webtainment.
For me, the purpose of Future Unknown multiple: In part it is a journal as I navigate the unknown waters of what it means to be disabled, to redefine my life, to challenge myself in ways I’ve not been challenged before. It is also a journey of personal finance, facing the reality of disability and unemployment. The physical and psychological toll of how I accept the changes taking place within my body, adapt to the medication (morphine) that robs me of my cognitive skills and functions, leaving me unable to do the work I so love. And finally, it is an experiment. Can this blog, in someway, assist me in using my creative skills and talents, to earn money? Can some of the loss in income I am experiencing by being on an unpaid medical leave of absence somehow be recouped?
I’ll share more soon.
The first one I followed with some regularity had to do with a young man from Sacramento, California, named Casey. He was facing foreclosure on a number of houses he had purchased over a short period of time. Of course, he did this at the height of the market, right as it imploded. He owed over 2.2 million dollars. His blog became its own form of webtainment. It had its own cast of characters – from Casey himself, to his readers, including “Sputnik the Cat” and “The Trailer Park Boys” to what later became his Haterz. His blog created many more blogs and forums – mostly those dedicated to haterz.
Casey’s blogging experience was probably, as a social experiment, the best of and the worst of the internet. It brought out the kindness of many who offered assistance, who over time were thrown under the bus by Casey and his own selfish needs and desires. It also illustrated and gave readers a glimpse of the worst of the internet universe – the predators who wanted to ride on Casey’s growing media celebrity.
With Casey, they’d found the goose that laid the golden egg.
Since that time, the blogs I follow mostly surround the subjects of personal finance and money. Some of these blogs are very informative. Some of these blogs tell a great story. With some blogs, it’s obvious the author is using it as a money making venture. And, some of these blogs are just great webtainment.
For me, the purpose of Future Unknown multiple: In part it is a journal as I navigate the unknown waters of what it means to be disabled, to redefine my life, to challenge myself in ways I’ve not been challenged before. It is also a journey of personal finance, facing the reality of disability and unemployment. The physical and psychological toll of how I accept the changes taking place within my body, adapt to the medication (morphine) that robs me of my cognitive skills and functions, leaving me unable to do the work I so love. And finally, it is an experiment. Can this blog, in someway, assist me in using my creative skills and talents, to earn money? Can some of the loss in income I am experiencing by being on an unpaid medical leave of absence somehow be recouped?
I’ll share more soon.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
My Story - The Lemons of 2008
"Good Evening" - Imagine Alfred Hitchcock's opening words from his classic television series. This is the opening narration of this blog, my story, and the journey we will be taking.
I'd like to think I'm your typical 44 year old single female, but I know that's not true. There have been bumps in the road along the way. 2008 has been the worst year of my life.
Seriously.
I'm not kidding.
Since the beginning of the year, I have encountered or experienced the following:
Bottom line: Life has handed me a ton of lemons during the first six months of 2008 - normally I'd be reaching for the Patron (Silver) Tequlia - but I'm on morphine and am unable to drink.
I'd like to think I'm your typical 44 year old single female, but I know that's not true. There have been bumps in the road along the way. 2008 has been the worst year of my life.
Seriously.
I'm not kidding.
Since the beginning of the year, I have encountered or experienced the following:
- The flu - very nasty, missing two weeks of work
- Pneumonia
- Broken Ribs (caused by caughing from the pneumonia)
- Evidence of damage to my heart muscle discovered during an x-ray when I had pneumonia
- The death of my mother (including being her hospice care giver for two weeks prior to her death)
- Arguments with my brother over my mother's property and estate prior to her dying
- A raging kidney infection following my mother's death resulting in four missed weeks from work
- I am now into week nine of a leave of absence from my job due to a serious illness (more about that later) and I'm not sure if I'll ever be healthy enough to return to work.
Bottom line: Life has handed me a ton of lemons during the first six months of 2008 - normally I'd be reaching for the Patron (Silver) Tequlia - but I'm on morphine and am unable to drink.
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